


A Game You're Going to Lose

by EmrysBeard



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, Drinking, Sequel, Sex Used As A Coping Mechanism, Smut, Songfic, prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:01:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7690804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmrysBeard/pseuds/EmrysBeard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: just thought of a sequel [To "Just Pretend], but with the song Blue by Marina;<br/>do a little sequel from Dan to the song Forget by Marina and the Diamonds?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CanYourDan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CanYourDan/gifts).



> First prompt by nonregistered user
> 
> Chapters One and Two are focused on Phil, and Three is focused on Dan

“Room for one, please. Phil murmurs the request to the man across the desk so quietly, that he isn't sure if the man had heard, yet when the key is slid across the desk, Phil nods. “Thank you,” Phil sniffles, turning away quickly. Phil had said he was going to visit his parents, but he can't bring himself to. He can't let them see what a mess he was at the moment, and he doesn't have the energy to act like he’s okay.

Inside the room, one bed stares at him almost mockingly. For seven years, there was always another bed for Dan. Now there’s no one else to cheer him up and bring a smile to his face. The person that’s always done that is no longer a part of his life. Phil has to start over, build himself a home from the bottom up. For now, though, the hotel is where he’ll have to live. Every ounce of his being wants to go home, but it’s not an option. That flat isn’t home anymore.

Suddenly, Phil doesn't want to be alone, can't stand the thought of sitting, doing nothing, and his hands float towards his phone. An idea forms in his head, but he pushes it away. Getting drunk is what got him into this mess, and yet, for some reason, the thought is planted in his head now, and he can't push it away. A sudden boldness jumps into his veins, a mixture of rebellion, anger, and hope, and it makes him snatch his phone, typing in two words he thought he’d never be bold enough to look up.

_ Nearby nightclub _

The closest is within walking distance, so Phil decides to go, even if a fan sees him there. Right now, drowning his sorrows in alcohol and mindless bodies moving on the dance floor seems like a wonderful idea. Tonight will not be about Dan, because it’s never ended well for Phil that way. From now on, it will be about Phil, and what’s best for him. Never again will he let anyone put him through what Dan has.

He heads toward the nightclub in a hurry, and yet he hesitates for a moment when the neon lights meet his gaze. For a second, his blood feels icy, but then he shakes the feeling off, flashing his ID and then hurrying inside. The music is blaring loud enough to make the floor tremble, and he marches over to the bar, feeling quite bold as he orders a pint of something. He eyes it dubiously as it’s set in front of him, however when the first sip slides down his throat, sharp and intense, he grins before chugging down more, only half noticing the brown haired man who sits beside him, that is until he accidentally brushes the man’s hand and their eyes meet.

“Can I buy you a drink?” the man asks, smirking and roaming his eyes over Phil’s figure.

“Sure,” Phil purrs, surprised at his own voice, however his time with Dan kicks in, and suddenly he's instinctively sliding closer. “You free tonight, Da-” Phil cuts himself off and finishes with a blush. “Darling?”

The man laughs and places his hand on Phil’s thigh. “The real question is,” he breathes, leaning in and placing an open mouthed kiss on his neck. “How far away is your flat?”

“I'm in a hotel,” Phil moans softly, arms reaching forward to wrap around the man lightly. “Close and… And you can come. Can you come?”

“You’re adorable. Tell me your name, gorgeous.” Looking at Phil through his eyelashes, the man tugs his bottom lip between his teeth.

“It's Ph-Phil,” Phil breathes, wondering at how the man did the same move as Dan always had. “And yours? You're amazing…. Please come back with me. I know how to show you a good time n-now.”

“Chris. Don’t worry sweetheart, I will, all in good time.  In the meanwhile, I’ll buy you another drink.”

It carries on that way for who knows how long until both Chris and Phil are definitely more than just tipsy, giggling and leaning on each other as they leave the bar. Down the street, they walk and let tingles of heat race just beneath the skin. By the time Phil leads Chris into the elevator, Chris’ patience is gone and he grabs Phil’s shirt, pulling them together and tilting his head up to get the height to initiate a fiery, sloppy and drunken kiss.

Phil lets out an excited whimper, grinding his body against Chris and running his tongue along Chris’ mouth, biting his lip lightly before pulling Chris closer, wrapping his arms tightly around him. It's with a start when the doors ding open, and he pulls Chris into his hotel room, hurrying to the bed and moaning softly when Chris collapses on top of him, continuing to kiss as he pins Phil to the bed. Phil mewls, licking at Chris’s neck before falling back to gaze up at him innocently.

“You’re gonna kill me if you keep looking at me like that,” Chris says with a smirk, fingers playing at the hem of Phil’s shirt.

Phil doesn't bother with a reply, and instead slip his hands under Chris’ shirt, pulling it off to nip at his shoulder, moving to his neck and then bucking up at Chris desperately. 

“You're so perfect,” Phil moaned softly. “Need more.”

“Yeah?” breathes Chris. He pulls a packet of lube and a condom from his back pocket, dropping them beside Phil and pushing one thigh between Phil’s to give him the friction he’s craving.

“Yes, please Chris, yes,” Phil hums, pushing upwards desperately, before one hand reaches upwards to brush at Chris’ own erection, a mischievous smile on his face, which drops off with a moan of pleasure when Chris nudges at him again. Phil moans again, however he makes a mistake. “More, please Dan.”

“Dan?” Chris asks, raising an eyebrow. “Who’s that? Actually, nevermind, I don’t care. Get those jeans off. Want to touch you, be inside of you.”

Phil blushes at his mistake, however he doesn't have long to think about it before he's naked and pulling Chris close, wiggling slightly into a better position, and yet suddenly he can't stop seeing Dan’s face in this man’s. Trying to push the thought away, Phil nuzzles Chris and tries to forget how much he looks like Dan.

Tearing open the lube with his teeth, Chris slicks up his fingers, and slips the first two into Phil, barely giving him a moment to adjust to the sudden stretch before he’s pumping his fingers in and out. He doesn’t bother seeking out Phil’s prostate, too focused on hurrying him through everything and trying to make room for what’s to come.

“You like that?” he asks, leaning over Phil to nip at his neck again.

Phil’s breath hitches, and suddenly he whines, though it’s more of a whine of uneasiness than pleasure. He squirms slightly, unsure as the act that Dan had always made feel wonderful, suddenly seems hurtful and strange. Moments later Phil closes his eyes wiggling weakly but not genuinely making a move to do anything, too wrapped up in the moment.

Chris scissors his fingers before adding another, hurrying in anticipation of the pleasure he knows is coming. Soon he deems Phil ready and pulls out his fingers, using the leftover lube to slick himself up, lining up and meeting Phil’s eyes. Slowly, he guides himself into Phil and moans loudly, almost falling onto Phil when he bottoms out. Peppering kisses and gentle bites all over Phil’s chest and neck, Chris circles his hips until Phil gives him the okay to move.

Phil almost tries to compare him to Dan again, however suddenly Chris hits his prostate, and Phil collapses backwards, letting out a low noise of pleasure. He waits for the next hit, and yet he lets out a dissatisfied squeal as Chris  pumps excitedly, continually missing the spot Phil craves, and Phil tries to forms words, but all that falls from his mouth is a whimper.

“Fuck, so good,” Chris pants, reaching to jerk Phil off in times with his messy thrusts.

Phil almost moans Dan’s name again as he cums, but holds back the word. It seems that before they've begun, he's finished, and he waits expectantly for it to end.

Almost silently, Chris finishes and smiles lazily, flopping onto the bed beside Phil. “That was great,” he says, running his hands through Phil’s sweaty hair. “Wanna sleep, though.”

“Okay,” Phil murmurs, wrapping his arms hopefully around Chris. “Hold each other?”

“‘Kay,” agrees Chris, letting one arm fall across Phil’s waist, quickly falling asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Phil wakes up and gently kisses Chris, yet he frowns when Chris seemed first confused, and then flustered. When Phil asks why, Chris explains that he needs to get off to work, and that was the last time Phil ever saw him. Somehow, Phil isn't surprised, and yet he finds himself back at the nightclub the next night, and then again a few nights later. It becomes a pattern for him, find a man to keep his tears at bay, and awake to either find him rushing away, or to an empty bed. 

The men are all the same, as far as Phil is concerned. They aren't bad, and yet none of them can replace Dan. It’s that following weekend that Phil ends up with a man who didn’t satisfy him at all, and he leaves Phil that night, feeling unhappy and trying to hold back tears. He stays away from the nightclub for several days after that, yet he finds suddenly that he’s losing weight with no appetite for anything except liquor, and so he returns to the club, and the morning after he left, he finds himself able to wash away his longing for companionship with a sandwich that he’s able to keep down. 

He vows that tonight he’ll return, because his life has become a bottomless pit of depression and anger, a hole he fills with liquor and sex. Slowly, the funds in his bank account are dwindling, but he doesn’t want to make another video. There will be questions about Dan and Cat that he doesn’t want to answer. When he returns to the bar, the familiar bartender, PJ, smiles at him and pours Phil’s usual, leaning over the counter in a way that makes his button-down uniform stretch tightly across his chest. Phil subconciously licks his lips before picking up the drink and taking a hearty sip. His eyes are tracing over what he can see of PJ’s form, appreciating it like he’s never thought to before.

“Thanks,” Phil murmurs, sipping the glass and peering enticingly over the rim. “How's your night been, love?”

Blushing slightly, PJ combs his fingers through his messy hair. “Well enough, but not all customers are as considerate or attractive as you,” he says, straightening his back and stretching, ‘accidentally’ making his shirt ride up slightly.

“I can't help coming back for more,” Phil purrs, eyes trailing downwards. “Your pub offers quite a treat. I can be quite a treat too, you know.”

“Is that so?” PJ teases, rolling up his sleeves and leaning back over the bar.

“I know you're a bartender, but I don't know, do you like mixing business and pleasure?” Phil hums, fluttering his eyelashes before widening his eyes to gaze longingly at PJ. “Are you free after a long day? I can help you relax.”

“I get off at ten. Think you can restrain yourself that long?” he laughs, reaching toward Phil and tilting his chin up, gaze trained on Phil’s lips.

“Jealous?” Phil giggles suddenly, downing the rest of the mug. “You know I always leave here with someone, tonight you get to be lucky! I wish I was lucky…”

PJ smirks. “Arrogant. I just don’t want you to get too drunk, because tonight will be one you’ll want to remember. That, and if you get too impatient, I don’t want docked pay because i have to take an early break to handle you in the bathrooms,” he drawls, watching Phil’s eyes glaze over with lust.

“Maybe you’d secretly like that,” Phil lets out a shallow breath, already wishing it was time to take PJ home. Phil leans forward, almost brushing against PJ as his breath hitches. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, Phil remembers a time when he would have been far more flustered and embarrassed about such an idea, when even the gentlest of touches from Dan had seemed frightening and exciting, and yet now that seems a life away. He wasn't sure if he missed it or not, but right now he wanted something rough and tangible, because it was rare for him to get anything else from the men he brought home. He’d almost forgotten what it was like to have someone touch him gently.

“I have self-control, and I’m not already buzzed Phil; I know what a bad idea it is. Can you be good for me and control yourself for an hour or so, baby?” PJ asks in a husky voice.

“Okay,” Phil nods once, suddenly reaching forward to press a chaste kiss against PJ’s lips before quickly leaning back to gaze innocently at him, chewing his lip, blushing prettily, and giggling again.

“Good.” And then PJ is gone, tending to other patrons down the bar, occasionally flitting back to Phil during the course of the hour. By ten o'clock, PJ is taking off his nametag to stow under the counter, and climbing impatiently over the counter. “C’mon,” he whispers in Phil’s ear, grabbing his hand and interlacing their fingers. “Show me where you’re at so I can make you feel good.” He punctuates his words by softly biting down on Phil’s earlobe.

Phil almost attempts an answer, yet all that comes out is a low moan, and then he’s pulling PJ along. It doesn't take long to show up at the inn where he’s been staying and he pulls PJ into the elevator. The moment the doors close, Phil pulls PJ into his arms, leaning back against the elevator wall as he threads a hand tightly through the bartender’s hair, pulling enthusiastically to bring their lips closer.

PJ’s hands move downward until he wraps them around Phil’s ass, kneading the soft flesh in his hands. When Phil moans into his mouth, PJ laughs. “You like that, love?”

“Want more,” Phil whimpers, head tipping back weakly. “Want you, darling. Want so much more.” Phil is interrupted by the door dinging open, and he blushes slightly when he notices someone standing outside, shuffling their feet.

Neither bother to apologize, and then PJ is following Phil as he drags them both down to his room, opening the door. “Bed, fuck,” PJ groans, already stripping away his shirt.

Phil’s is already off as he flops onto the bed, pulling PJ down as well until PJ is straddling him, Phil bucking upwards as he seeks pressure. 

“Pants, baby, please,” Phil groans, kicking his own off as he leans up to nip at PJ’s chest.

“Christ, Phil. I’m working on it,” PJ says, unable to resist grinding down on Phil before working at unbuttoning his skinny jeans and pulling them off.

The moment PJ loses the jeans, Phil begins pawing eagerly at his erection. Phil bites and then kisses a trail down PJ’s neck and chest, watching as PJ leans down to lick at Phil, before slipping lube from his pocket.

“Been wanting to do this for months,” PJ groans, beginning to strip Phil out of his clothes. “Always so slutty and willing at my bar, and I just wanted to grab you and fuck you into the mattress.” He grinds down, biting at Phil’s collarbones as he does, not hard enough to hurt, but enough to make a soft explosion of feeling.

“So good,” Phil mewls, weakly and then more determinedly grinding upwards, eyes half lidded in pleasure. “Whatever you need, baby, please. So perfect.”

“Want you to prep yourself while I watch,” says PJ, handing Phil the lube and pushing off his boxers to palm himself.

Messily, Phil slicks his fingers before pushing one, then two inside and creating a rhythm, a sound of ecstasy escaping as he pumps into himself.

“Fuck, so pretty.” PJ leans over Phil and places a messy kiss on his slack and open mouth.

Phil leans up into the kiss, biting lightly on PJ’s lip before pulling away teasingly to gaze up at PJ through thick lashes, before averting his eyes as if shy, though in reality Phil is having more fun than he'd had in weeks.

PJ laughs.  “Tease. Are you ready for me, baby? Want to be inside of you, make you feel good.” He reaches over and grabs Phil’s hand, placing it on PJ’s leaking member. “Get me all nice and slick,” he says, capturing Phil’s mouth in another kiss.

Phil pushes upwards into the kiss as his hand moves slowly, and then a bit quicker at PJ. A faint memory flashes across Phil’s mind, something from his time with Dan, and then Phil is sliding downward to capture PJ’s erection in his mouth and give the tip a teasing kitty lick, before fully encompassing PJ in his mouth, little by little, working his tongue up and down.

Moaning, PJ fists his hands in Phil’s hair, biting his lip in a failed attempt to keep quiet. Not too long of a time passes before PJ pulls Phil off, a string of spit connecting Phil’s swollen and red lips and PJ. He gently guides Phil back up the bed so that his head is on the pillows, and lines up. Meeting his eyes, PJ checks that Phil’s okay before pushing in, muscles tense with the effort to be careful. When he finally bottoms out, he leans over Phil and presses their foreheads together.

“So amazing,” Phil moans, suddenly feeling both tense with arousal and relaxed with a true pleasure he’d almost forgotten good sex could provide. “So full, oh PJ…”

“Yeah, moan my name, baby,” PJ encourages, wedging a hand between them to jerk Phil off in time with his thrusts and letting his mind clear of everything except for the pleasure flooding his mind.

Phil leans upwards, moving slowly in time with PJ’s pace, and he lets out PJ’s name in a load moan as he finally hits his climax, hardly noticing as he dirties the space between them. He lets out a soft sigh as PJ follows him, and then collapses onto of Phil’s who blindly hugs his arms around him, snuggling his head into the crook of PJ’s neck.

In answer, PJ curls around Phil, inhaling the scent of Phil’s shampoo off of his hair. Despite how short of a time they’ve known each other, PJ feels like he’s spent years by Phil’s side. “What do you do for a living?” he asks, eyes fluttering shut.

“Make videos,” Phil yawns, half aware and confused by why PJ is asking. “On YouTube. I already know you make the best cocktails and mixed drinks ever. And whiskey. And you're amazing at it. Goodnight PJ. You're amazing.”

\--

PJ blinks awake with the sun shining through the blinds and onto his face. He sits up and thinks back to the night before, and how amazing it was. If he had more than a few pounds with him, he thinks he would have ordered them breakfast. As it is, he’s content just laying with his legs tangled with Phil’s. Asleep, the man looks much more peaceful than PJ’s ever seen him.

“Morning?” Phil suddenly yawns softly, eyelashes fluttering open to reveal his soft blue eyes. He shakes his head a bit, before his eyes meet PJ’s, and then he looks small and confused. In the early morning light, he looks much younger than he had before. “Oh, you're still here? Oh… Is there more you wanted from me?”

“What do you mean?” PJ asks with a frown.

“Well,” Phil ducks his head. “You haven't left me yet. That must mean you want something else? Only Joe didn't leave in the morning, that's because he wanted a morning blowjob. But you are still here. I… I don't understand. It's very nice of you, but you didn't have to. You know, I'm not really worth you staying until morning.”

“You’re undoubtedly worth it,” PJ asserts, pressing a soft kiss to Phil’s forehead. “How long are you in town, since you’re in a hotel room? I want to take you to dinner, even if we did this in the wrong order.”

“I… What?” Phil tilts his head, suddenly looking like a lost puppy. “I am just staying here. I have been for a while. I guess since I moved out, away from my flatmate, I don't really have a home. I could visit my parents, but they don't know I left Dan, my flatmate, and I… I mean, I thought last night… It never means anything, you know? Because no one would really want to go out with me. You're not indebted to me now, you know. I'm sure you want to spend your dinner with someone nice and even if I would like dinner, well… I'm not as good as others, right? I mean, like Dan said, it's just two guys getting each other off and even if I want it to be more, that's all it ever will be! That's all I'll ever be…”

“Your flatmate sounds like an emotionally abusive, manipulative dick, first of all. Secondly, I know I’m not indebted to you. You’re worth my time, I care about you. I want to buy you dinner. I want to go out with you. Last- staying in a hotel is probably eating away at your bank account. If you’re comfortable with it, you can come stay with me. I have a spare room if you want it, and at risk of sounding pervy, you’re always welcome in my bed if you’d rather sleep there.” PJ cuts himself off by biting his lips and diverting his eyes. “It’s your choice.”

“I… You mean the sex was so good, you want me to live with you?” Phil looks confused. “And Dan wasn't like that. It was my fault any of it happened. He had a girlfriend but after he and I did it once and I tried to end it he said that I should keep doing it with him to help him and we could help each other but he broke up with her, and we went out, and then we were good but she came back, so of course he had to break up with me because I’m not as important.”

“It’s not just about sex, although that was good. It’s because I care about you. You’re worth more than a plaything, and I think you deserve better than Dan.” He kisses Phil’s soft lips and smiles at him.

The next day, they move in together, and PJ drives by Phil’s old flat with him, waiting in the car at Phil’s request while he grabs things he left behind, thankful that Dan isn't home. Unable to just take anything, Phil leaves a note with an apology, his key placed on top of it. He leaves for good then. Soft mornings with coffee and sleep-messy hair and sweet smiles populate their lives. PJ convinces Phil to start making videos. Phil explains he and Dan aren’t really friends anymore and does a boyfriend tag with PJ. Once, Phil musters up the courage to look at Dan’s channel, and only finds a couple new videos months ago before the channel is basically dead. Phil doesn’t think much of it, and moves on with his life. Finally, one candle-lit evening at a fancy restaurant, PJ gets down on one knee and proposes. Flurries of days hurry by until the day invitations are sent. Secretly, Phil sends out a wedding invitation to Dan, writing in at the bottom that he misses their friendship. The wedding comes, the wedding goes, and Dan doesn’t so much as tweet a congratulations at Phil. Phil, of course, pretends it doesn’t hurt, but he focuses on the happiest day of his life with PJ.

In fact, it seems like Dan had disappeared off the face of the earth, and fans begin tweeting Phil about where he's gone, creating arguments as other fans talk about how Phil clearly isn't a part of Dan’s life anymore. Phil almost begins to worry about what's become of his old friend, but each time he does, a talk with PJ reassures him that Dan is probably fine, and if he isn't, Phil shouldn't blame himself. In many ways, Phil decides that it's mentally healthier that Dan is gone, as morning kisses with PJ and gentle snuggles when he's sad fills a wonderful part of his heart, and sex fades into the background of their relationship. Yet Phil can't help but remember Dan, and miss his quirks and their banters. Phil, sometimes, falls into a sort of sadness at his old friend’s loss, yet PJ is the most wonderful force in Phil’s life. In many ways, Phil couldn't be happier. And despite the nagging question, where is Dan, Phil smiles every morning, cuddling next to his husband and watching the sunrise through the tree outside their window. 

It isn't until one fateful night after dinner that Phil’s phone jingles with a tone he hasn't heard in months, and without hesitation, Phil knows it's Dan. He rejects the call.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> awkward straight smut intensifies

Phil just left, and for some reason, Dan isn’t at all excited at the prospect of seeing Cat. Already he misses Phil, but of course, he’ll be back- right? Shaking his head to clear it, Dan focuses his attentions on straightening up the vague mess of the flat to make it presentable for Cat. He texts her to come over, and she immediately replies that she’s on her way. Dan puts his head in his hands, questioning if he’s making the right choice. For so long it was Dan and Phil again, but Dan may have just lost that.

“Hey baby,” a voice calls through the flat, and then Cat is slipping up to Dan, arms twisting around his shoulders. “It's been a long time. I know where the spare key is, so I just let myself in. I missed you, babe. Is old Phil here or do we get to have the place to ourselves?”

“All to ourselves,” Dan answers, running his fingers through his hair. As Cat comes in, a thousand memories flood through Dan’s head. Any doubt he had left is gone, and he simply wants to push her into the wall and kiss her again.

So he does.

“Mm, I see you have been missing me,” Cat hums, flickering her eyelashes, before twisting a hand down toward Dan’s lower back. “I guess coming back was the right decision, hm Danny? And here I was thinking you would have moved on, but no, some things never change, baby.”

“Never change with you,” mumbles Dan, reaching under Cat and lifting her up so she wraps her legs around his waist. He carries her to his bedroom, one he hasn’t used since they were together the first time. He sets her down carefully and climbs onto the bed himself, kissing her again.

“You never did waste time,” Cat giggles lightly, legs wrapping around him again as she pulls him closer. She kisses back somewhat roughly, moaning into the kiss, however unlike Phil, she completely ignores Dan’s growing erection.

He grinds down into her, one arm bracing him so his full weight isn’t on top of her, and the other playing with Cat’s bleached hair. “I’ve never seen a reason to,” Dan says casually, moving his hand from her hair to her hip, skimming beneath her shirt and giving soft touches to the soft skin beneath.

“I've missed this,” Cat moans softly, eyes closed in pleasure. Remembering Dan’s body quite well, she pulls at his pants, kicking her own off, and falling back against the pillows and pulling him along with her. She lets out a loud mewl, and waiting impatiently for Dan to continue. “Come on baby,” Cat moans. “Be good for me baby.”

“Yeah, okay, yeah,” Dan says, reaching into the bedside drawer and rolling on a condom before returning his attention to Cat and pushing a hand between her legs. “So wet for me,” he purrs, starting to finger her. He leans over her and starts kissing at her lower stomach.

Cat fists her hands in his hair, however she didn't hardly move as much as Phil had, soaking up Dan’s touches with mewls of pleasure, yet not particularly returning Dan with anything. Her eyes remained closed, lashes lightly resting against lightly pinking cheeks.

Quickly, Dan decides she’s ready, and reaches up with his clean hand to cup her cheek. “Are you ready?” He asks softly, running his thumb over her cheekbone.

“Always for you,” Cat murmurs. “You're going slow, baby, come on, I won't break. Yeah, come on baby, don't need all this. Mm, baby.”

“Fuck,” he swears softly, and pushes in, eyes fluttering shut in ecstasy because he’s missed this. Slowly he begins pumping his hips, pushing Cat’s shirt up and palming her breasts through her bra.

“Yeah, like that,” Cat groans, revelling in something she too had missed, and with two last low sounds, she finally relaxed, eyelashes fluttering as she lifted her hands up to push lightly at Dan’s chest. “‘Kay, baby, you're still good for that. So good for me.”

Dan begins to move faster and already, he knows he’s close. “Touch yourself for me, baby,” he says, trying to hold back.

Cat does as he requests, playful eyes flicking open to gaze teasingly at him, and for a startled moment Dan expects to see Phil’s gentle blue eyes, and he's almost surprised when Cat’s eyes meet his instead, but then her eyes close again, and she's pawing at herself.

“Christ, so good, baby,” Dan praises, his own eyes falling shut as his hair falls over his face, curling into dark ringlets from the sweat.

“I’m done,” Cat lets out with a moan, and then she reaches up to sweep at his hair, pulling a bit at the curls, and shaking her head. Half aware she mutters that she wishes it was straight, before turning over with a yawn. “Tired, wanna sleep.”

Dan finally lets go when she says that, and moans. Carefully, he eases himself out and ties off the condom before chucking it in the bin. “I’m going to go shower, do you want to join me?” He teases.

“Hm, maybe,” Cat murmurs. “I don't usually… When you shower, straighten your hair. Only Phil is silly enough to like your natural hair. You want me to join you? I can, Danny, if you want. After all, your sex is better than anyone else’s, so I want to make you happy, babe.”

“It’s fine, just relax. I’ll bring back some food when I get out,” Dan says, ignoring the way his stomach twists as though he’s done something terrible. Under the warm water, he rinses away his anxiety and ties a towel around his waist. Quickly, he blow-dries and straightens his hair, stopping by the kitchen for strawberries before returning to his room.

Cat is curled in Dan’s blankets, humming softly in her sleep as her arms wrap around his other pillow. She looks sweet in sleep, however not adorable in the same way as Phil… Dan shakes his head to clear these thoughts as Cat’s head snuggles closer into the pillow, completely happy and unaware of Dan’s presence. Either she really had been quite tired, or she just hadn't bothered to wait up for Dan.

Either way, Dan sets the food down on his nightstand and drops his towel, crawling under the duvet and wrapping his arm around Cat, quickly burying his face in her hair and hoping for sleep to come. It doesn’t. Instead, a million thoughts dance through his mind, guilt, ecstasy, doubt, and a sprinkling of fear. He thinks that maybe it feels odd because he’s used to angles and height of Phil’s body, not the soft curves of Cat’s short frame. However, deep down, he knows it’s because he doesn’t love her anymore.

“Mm, baby?” Cat hums softly, waking slightly from her nap. She doesn't turn to wrap her arms around Dan, but instead snuggles closer into his arms, shutting her eyes again. “You're back. I didn't know how long you'd take, so I decided to doze off. Your bed is comfy, just like your arms. I missed your hugs, but not as much as I missed your kisses.” Cat turns her head to kiss him passionately for a moment.

“You don’t have to miss them anymore,” Dan assures, lips moving against hers, praying she won’t hear how hollow his voice sounds.

“That's good,” Cat sighs contentedly. “So, where is your flatmate if he isn't around here to interrupt us?”

“I think he went to visit his parents or something, not sure how long he’ll be gone.”

Dan didn’t think that Phil would go missing for months, but he couldn’t bring himself to care, too preoccupied with Cat. He’s glad she wasn’t around when Phil came back to gather what had been left behind and leave his key with an apology on the counter. Quickly, Dan checks Phil’s youtube channel, finding new videos. One of them features PJ, Phil’s eccentric, bubbly, and humorous new boyfriend. That’s the moment that Dan stops making his own videos, finally giving in to Cat’s suggestions. He starts work at a coffee shop, unable to do anything else, as he doesn’t have a degree. More months pass until Dan, arm curled around Cat, thinks that he should propose to her. He doesn’t have a ring, and he doesn’t want to, but he has nothing else.

It was just after one of their dinner dates, Cat applying a bit more lipstick when she thinks Dan isn't looking, that Dan gets down on one knee, presenting her with a tiny box. Cat’s eyes widen in shock, before she accepts, holding him close enough to whisper in his ear how much this means to her. Dan wishes it meant that much to him. That night, Cat drags Dan back to his apparent and they once again perform their almost nightly ritual of making out, sex, and then Cat turning around to wait expectantly for Dan to curl his arms around her, her own arms wrapped around a pillow which she says is soft and cuddly, unlike Dan’s thinning frame. She comments once that Dan seems to be losing weight, and so she tells him to hit the gym so he can look nice for their wedding, before turning back to the computer where she was organizing the guest list that Dan had thus far not been allowed to alter to add to. Phil’s name is blaringly missing.

The night before their wedding, Cat is staying with her mother, so Dan has the flat to himself for the first time in a while. Finally able to properly think, Dan lets his mind wander to the wedding. It occurs to him that he can’t. All the wasted time he could’ve spent with Phil- he has to call it off. Dan dials Cat’s phone, number two on his speed dial, right after Phil.

“Hello love,” Cat’s voice chimes. “How are you? I can't wait until tomorrow! Can you believe we’re getting married the same day as Phil is? What a coincidence! I didn't even realize when I chose the date. Too bad, or you could have attended each other's weddings. Anyway, what was it you needed?”

“That’s the thing,” Dan says, staring at the invitation to Phil’s wedding. “I can’t. I need you to come get your things and give me your key. I can’t marry you.”

“Wait… What?” Cat’s voice is half icy cold, and half terribly frightened. “Baby, this isn't funny. You know your sense of humor is really slipping, love.”

“I’m not- I’m not joking, Cat.” Dan swallows and braces himself for the backlash that’s inevitably coming. Somewhere in the back of his mind, Dan thinks he might get to Phil in time to stop him and explain.

“I… Baby please,” Cat speaks slowly, her voice shaking. “I know it's common to get pre-wedding jitters, but you'll feel better after tomorrow, baby, I promise. Dan, love, how about I come over and we can talk about it and kiss and make up. You know, being nervous is normal, but you don't really want to call it off, baby. You know how much we love each other. You're my whole world, Dan, and besides, what else would you do? Go back to YouTube and be Dan without Phil? Come on baby, say something.”

“You don’t respect me, you treat me like nothing. I thought I could make this work, I tried to make myself love you, but I don’t. I can’t marry you. I won’t. I’ll cover the costs of cancelling everything. Bring me your key, get  your things, and get out of my life.” Before she can say anything more, Dan hangs up and presses the heels of his hands to his eyes, headache already surfacing behind his eyes.

His phone rings, it’s Cat calling. He doesn't answer, and text after text lights up his phone. First they're confused texts, then denial, then sad, then angry as Cat commands him to answer his phone, answer his texts, just talk to her. The final text, a proclamation that she had arrived, was followed by his door swinging open with a bag, before Cat, red eyed and chest heaving, dashes into the room and runs up to Dan. “What do you think you're doing? You can't call it off now!”

“I can, and I will. Get your stuff and go,” Dan says softly, bracing himself for the slap across his face that he knows is coming.

“Don't you see?” Cat cries, reaching up a hand, yet pulling it back just in time to change her strategy to sobbing, big crocodile tears running down her face. “Dan please, I love you. I've always loved you, we’re right for each other. Dan, don't you care about me? I thought you were the one who cared!”

He doesn’t dignify with her response, just gestures to his flat in a wordless invitation for her to get her things. Already his mind is filled with plans to call Phil; what he’ll say, how he’ll apologize, and what words he’ll spin to get Phil to forgive.

“Please baby!” Cat cries again, now grasping onto his shirt and sobbing into his chest. “Dan please don't do this to us! Don't do this to me…”

“I swear to God, Cat. Get your stuff or I’ll sell it all, I’m done,” he says, shutting the door behind her, stopping the cool breeze that was flowing into the room. Now the air is stuffy and too warm.

Cat’s face suddenly turns red, desperation turning to anger. The hand that was wrapped around Dan now does fly up, slapping Dan across the face before Cat, with surprising force, shoves Dan backwards.

“You listen to me,” Cat spits. “You break off this wedding and you know what I'll do? I'll go to Phil’s and you know what then? I’ll tell him all about how you love me and never loved him. Don't think I'm stupid, I knew what was going on. I'll tell him you used him, you never cared about him, and I'll do it on his wedding day. Try celebrating with that on your mind, Phil.”

“Get the fuck out,” Dan seethes, fingers already playing at the call logs of his phone.

“Fine, then Phil can look forward to my interruption of his wedding,” Cat replies smugly, before turning desperate again. “Don't do this, Dan. You can still go back. Don't be dumb this time.”

“Goodbye and goodnight.” Dan opens the door, picks up Cat, sets her on the doorstep, and closes it in her face, locking it. On the floor is her house key, which Dan picks up and places on the counter, dialing Phil’s number, silently pleading for him to pick up.

Voicemail.

He’ll have to talk to Phil tomorrow.

_ I’ll do it, you know. _ A text from Cat lights up his screen, Dan promptly blocks her number.

 

In the morning, Dan wakes up and hurries through straightening his hair and getting dressed. He rushes to the venue and takes a seat at the back of the room. He’s too late, because Phil just said ‘I do’.

He looks happy, Dan realises with a start. Phil looks more happy than Dan remembers seeing him for some time. PJ kisses Phil’s lips tenderly, and then they gaze at each other with the kind of love Dan only dreamed of. A cheer rises up in the small audience, and the two men’s hands slip into each other, holding tightly as if that human contact is a lifeline. Dan watched silently as the ceremony ends, and then everyone gathers in the next room for a banquet of food, people milling about and easy for Dan to hide behind. He slips closer to Phil, but the words he hears Phil murmuring make his throat close up.

“You're right,” Phil is saying. “I am sad Dan isn't here, but maybe it's better that way. I know you care for me better than he ever did or could, and you know, I thought I loved him, but I didn't know true love until I met you, PJ.”

Dan pretends not to hear, and steps closer to Phil with a sad smile on his face. “Congratulations,” he mumbles, holding out a hand for PJ to shake.

“Oh, do I know you?” PJ asks, head tilting with a smile, not noticing that Phil’s attention is drawn to someone else, also offering a hug and a congratulatory card. PJ almost pulls attention to Dan, but decides against it as he shakes Dan's hand. “You look slightly familiar…”

“Not really. I’m Dan Howell.” He winces when PJ recoils, anger bubbling up on his face.

“Are you?” PJ speaks harshly, his hand zipping out of Dan’s grip. “Well, I suppose I do know you then, or at least, I know how you treated Phil. I'm sorry, I try not to make assumptions about people, however I’m afraid after speaking to Phil, I know too much about you not to feel that I know you quite well, Mr. Howell.”

“I- I need to apologize to Phil, for everything,” Dan says quietly. “I know I fucked up and I want to be… I want to be his friend again.

“I want this to be a nice day for Phil,” PJ frowns. “And I'm sure that you talking to him today could ruin his happy feelings. I don't want him to feel any sort of unpleasantness. Phil has recovered from the way you treated him, and bringing back those memories on his wedding day is not something I can tolerate. I will tell him you came, though, if you agree to leave now.”

“Okay. I’m glad Phil has someone like you in his life.” Brushing away tears, Dan turns and leaves, silhouette fading into the crowd as he leaves.

“Who was that?” Phil is suddenly turning to PJ, gentle confusion on his face. “I didn't get a chance to thank him for coming!”

“No one, he was lost and I pointed him in the right direction,” PJ says, pressing a soft kiss to Phil’s temple and wrapping his arm around him.

**Author's Note:**

> I can't speak for EmrysBeard, but for me, requests are closed. -somanydestiel
> 
> Visit us on tumblr: @somanydestiel, @emywright-funpics


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